i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
