haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
