How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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