I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
