God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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