His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just want nice things and good sex
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
