Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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