Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
