Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize