Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh god it's open bar.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
