I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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