just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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