Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
