That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
