My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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