do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
