Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
