I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
