I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
