so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
