The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm both gender and math confused
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
