Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.

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(646): View more from New York

Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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(336): View more from North Carolina

By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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(630): View more from Illinois

230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap

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(816): View more from Missouri

Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street

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(970): View more from Colorado

Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag

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