is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
