I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
