we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
as a side note pls kill me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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