Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize