Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
