i just wanna soil my oats bro
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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