I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
don't judge my taste in strippers
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
