yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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