Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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