I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
