It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
