i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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