she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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