well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
