At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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