i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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