Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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