I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
