I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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