dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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