Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
