Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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