I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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