if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
