so explain again why im purple
no
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
