Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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