Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
