chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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