Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize