just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My vagina is officially offended.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
