Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
