So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
