it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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