Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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