we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
